Marriage is a union between two people who love each other deeply. It’s a transitional event in their lives. A coming together in marriage is one of the most exciting experiences next to motherhood. Being asked to get married is a life-changing event and long-term commitment. At the tender age of 20, I entered into such a commitment.
One evening after work, my future husband got down on one knee and asked me to marry him in the bedroom of our small apartment. I said yes without hesitation because not only did I love him, I was a poor black girl from Grenada marrying a middle-class white man from Canada.
He was perfect in my eyes at the time, and I felt I had gotten lucky considering my poverty sickened background. This man took good care of me, never yelled or abused me. He picked up a $150 ring from a second-hand store in Brampton. The diamond was so tiny it was barely visible.
I didn’t care about the size of the ring because, for the first time in my life, I felt loved, safe and secure. We were both clever enough to know that, due to our differences, this union would never happen if word got out about this marriage. So we made a pact that we were not going to disclose this event to our family members.
Once I started planning the wedding, I was fortunate to find a local lady who rented wedding dresses out of her basement. For $300.00, this lovely black woman threw in a veil, gloves, and a boutique of fake flowers. According to the agreement, I had to return the dress by 10:00 a.m. the day after the wedding.
My fiancé rented a tuxedo from a store in the mall, and I went to the city hall to pick up our marriage license. We hired a pastor who charged us $120.00 for the ceremony. Unfortunately he was against us getting married without family and friends present. He only agreed to perform the ceremony if we invited at least one friend to the service, and on November 17th, 2000, I became a married woman.
The honeymoon was pretty uneventful. After the ceremony, we went to the mall to have dinner. Once we finished our so-called wedding feast, we went home to sleep. This momentous event was not what I envisioned my wedding day to look like as a young girl. The following morning we took the bus to return our rented wedding attire.
If I had to do it all over again, I would have waited to jump into a marriage. But, I was naive and had no idea what I was getting myself into at this time. I finally recognized that sound decisions are made when you put time and effort into them, but I was too rushed about getting married to put that kind of effort into it.
It’s okay to take your time, slow down and smell the roses, because some of the best things in life are worth the wait. So please be patient, and you too will have your happy ending when the perfect partner and time rolls around.